In this second installment of reader requested editorial INVESTIGATION, we sleuth out an inquiry all the way from Chicago [attention advertisers: NATIONAL REACH!!!]Chris sent us an urgent text message regarding a Smucker's product called "Uncrustables." His mode of communication underscores what an "on-the-go" treat this snack truly is.
The basics of an Uncrustable are the most wonder-y of Wonder breads stamped into a perfect circle, around peanut butter and jelly, hence eliminating the crust. It is basically a pb & j empanada.
My primary confusion around this product was "why the heck would you ever buy a pre-made peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" This thought was quickly supplemented by my secondary confusion, "why do the instructions read, 'thaw for 30-60 minutes and then enjoy within 8-10 hours??" If you are in such a G.D. hurry that you can't make yourself a peanut butter sandwich, then why would you wait 60 minutes for this pb & j hot pocket to defrost?
Then I realized that 26 year old adults are not, in fact, the target audience for this product, but instead, you are supposed to put it in your kid's lunch box in the morning and it will be ready by the time noon rolls around. Now the SnackManiac is no family psychologist, but I think it is safe to assume that if you open your lunch box and you discover an Uncrustable in there, your parents don't love you.
All this being said, it was a tasty little sandwich. Very squishy, but not soggy.
3 comments:
I feel like the uncrustable you're holding in the last photo is staring at me (without eyes, mind you) and it's really freaking me out. it looks like it just devoured a piece of human flesh and forgot to wipe its mouth.
After hesitantly accepting a free Uncrustable from Katherine this morning, I am embarassed to say that I really liked it. I mean really really liked it. Katherine made a great point which is that because it is machine-made, human error has been removed from the equation, and what you are left with is a PERFECT proportion of bread, peanut butter, and jelly.
They serve Uncrustables in the school cafeteria which I thought was absurd but I must say it looks far more appealing that the alternatives.
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