BREAKING: Additional members of species identified!!!!

Check it out, the Peep-ers with misplaced facial features are not alone!!! They have relatives on the gingerbread side of the family who came over for Christmas.


They brought some friends with less forehead, but some of them were a little grumpy:

A snack that would scare santa away

Quit your complain' readers, this one is worth the wait:


Okay. So this is the Peeps empire's ongoing attempt to make themselves relevant outside of the six week period during which we celebrate the resurrection of Christ with corn syrup byproduct shaped into small chickens without legs or wings.

The two completely awesome aspects of this latest effort are:

1) these are billed as sugar flavored sugar. SnackManiac likes the honesty. Don't try to be something you're not.


2) as you can tell by looking at the happy couple, there were some production errors in the application of the face and accessories on these delightful gingerbread Peep-le. I looked through about 15 packages at the Hannaford and this was not an isolated error. A little harder than the single dot eyball on the birds, eh?

The result is a thought provoking snack that raises questions about adult diapers and people with enormous foreheads whose eyeballs are located somewhere between their shoulder and armpit. Happy Birthday Baby Jesus!!!!

it would have to be pretty wrecked for me not to eat it

So the SnackManiac has received a few tips about this blog called Cake Wrecks. The premise of this blog is that they post pictures of cake decorating gone wrong. It is hilarious.

Here is an example of a "cake wreck:"


I have been hesitant to post about Cake Wrecks for several reasons:

1) It is really funny and you might start reading it instead of SM.

2) I truly appreciate the handiwork of the team at the Giant bakery counter who have brought us delightful snack-memories such as this. I would not want to discourage their craft by promoting this ridicule.

3) Many a cake has been wrecked at the hands of the SnackManiac. These things happen.

UPDATE:

Here is the picture of the cake that G got me (and subsequently wrecked) for my birthday. It is a quarter sheet cake, so it is about the size of a sheet of paper. G bought a tube of icing that you are supposed to also buy the decorating tips for, but he didn't realize this at the time. So the icing stream was roughly the diameter of the garden hose and G had to dispense with all pleasantries and stick to business:

I can't quite put my finger on it...

Halloween is definitely the time of year for highly disgusting (and often questionable) snacking. And I am not talking about the Baby Ruth bars you might get in your trick or treat bucket.

I am talking about things like this (!!!)



Your eyes do not deceive you, those are "chocolate and pretzel witch fingers." What a fright!

This spooky snacker seems to have a real fascination with snacks that look like witch hands, but are actually made out of food, but are almost too gross looking to eat. Which is a really narrow genre of snackage.

Snack foul

Ordering a raspberry mocha with whipped cream and a sausage, egg and cheese sammie at Starbucks.

My name is SnackManiac and I do NOT approve this snack.

I DO love these cookies

This weekend G and I drove many miles and past many Applebees en route to a wedding festivity for some friends. It was at a beautiful estate in the middle of almost nowhere (note: to give you a snack-related sense of just what kind of nowhere I am talking about, we stopped at a DQ where you could get 10% off your order if you had that day's church bulletin with you. SM has a lawsuit pending, separation of church and snack.)

The food was fantastic. Lots of apps and a delicious salad with feta and apples. They also had one of those candy buffets, which the children and I enjoyed thoroughly. Swedish Fish and Jordan almonds are a lovely and sophisticated after dinner treat.


The highlight, however, was a little tray of sweets MADE BY THE BRIDE HERSELF!!! I thought part of the deal with being a bride was to sit around and look pouffy and have people do things for you. But NO! This bride knew that she could provide the best snacking for her guests, so she did it herself. That is the kind of commitment to high quality snacks that I appreciate.

There were homemade truffles and "wedding cookies" which I believe are a snack claimed by the Mexicans and Italians and probably some other snackers, domestic and international alike.

Our table gobbled them up shortly upon delivery. Lucky for us, my new friend Henry was seated next to me and, equipped with his new Puma sneaks, darted across the porch to save some trays that were being bussed from other tables. (Don't trash those snacks!)

There is nothing wrong with snack scavenging, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Snacks worth the brain freeze

G and I had the opportunity to go to NASHVEGAS for Emily and Drew's wedding. The SnackManiac did plenty of advance work to ensure maximum southern snacking.

We didn't waste any time and hit up Bar-B-Cutie within 500 yards of the airport for a light afternoon snack. G had a pork shoulder "sandwich" where the bread was these huge cornbread pancake sort of things and I had a full on plate of pork shoulder with beans, coleslaw, a piece of "toast" dipped in butter and some other side that I can't seem to remember. Oh, I also had some "tea" that could be more accurately described as liquid tooth decay.

After that, we were on to a mysterious unmarked POPSICLE store that I read about on the 'net. We weren't exactly hungry as a result of our snack, but these frozen treats did not disappoint!

Here is a picture of the plum popsicle I had at Las Paletas:


We managed to hit up Las Paletas three days in a row!! We even took a *quick* break between the church and the reception to stop in...what better way to celebrate matrimony than with a Chai creamsicle?!? There is none.

Here is a full inventory of the popsicles we wolfed down:

• Plum
• Honeydew melon
• Cucumber chili
• Avocado (cream based, best avocado snack since guacamole!!)
• Basil (cream based, best basil snack since pesto!)
• Chai
• Strawberry chocolate chip
• Pineapple-kiwi
• Grapefruit
  

Readers, as soon as the SM learns how to make popsicles, I plan on opening my own high grossing popsicle palace. If any of you have extra Igloo coolers that you aren't using, let me know. Frozen snacking is the wave of the future!!

SnackManiac birthday off to a strong start

Check out the intense morning snackfest in honor of the SnackManiac's birthday!!!

An industrious colleague whipped up a blueberry coffeecake, homemade doughnut holes and a professional grade fruit salad (comple with Hoyas logo - who doesn't loved a branded SNACK??)

I am gearing up for the next 28 years of SNACK MANIA!!

Ramadan: No snacking in the sun

NUGGETS = snack of champions

Now this is what I assume the Greeks were talking about when they invented to Olympics. Usain Bolt, the "Fastest Man in the World," is also, apparently, a gold-medal snacker.

Here is how Bolt describes his preparation for Saturday's 100 meter dash:

"I never had breakfast. I got up about 11 a.m. and watched some TV. Then I ate some nuggets. Slept again for three hours. Went back and got some more nuggets, then I went to the track."

Amazing! It turns out that I have been training for the Olympics without even knowing it!!!

Usain, SnackManiac salutes you for breaking the stereotype of Olympic athletes as protein shake swilling health nuts. NUGGETS POWER YOU TO VICTORY!!

Please add my accolades alongside your gold medal.

Nikki and I just returned from a trip to the newly opened "Mr. Yogato" frozen yogurt store. They had this very cute picture of a yogurt with a face:

So this is one of those new joints that sells frozen yogurt that actually tastes like yogurt. It is a generally delicious idea, the MSM is all over it.

As you might remember, the SnackManiac had previously visited SweetGreen.

Mr. Yogato is more silly, less faux-environmental. Check out this list of toppings!!

The nice lady who rang up my yogurt told me that there were a bunch of SECRET toppings that you can only get if you know to ask for them. I let her know that I was an influential snack blogger, but she still wouldn't spill the beans (are beans a secret topping?)

Anyhow, it was quite tasty. Check out Nikki's reasonable sized yogurt and my heartier portion...


Nikki got Cap'n Crunch as a topping, and that's not a secret!!

mozzies

So, I was wrapping up a light dinner of tomato salad, half a roast chicken, roasted potatoes, zucchini and summer squash and a piece of blackberry pie with ice cream, when I started thinking about mozzarella sticks (also: stix.) Specifically, how, if presented with some, I would gladly eat them.


Then I thought of this hilarious snack notion. Could you imagine being at a fancy restaurant and having the waiter come out and say "and now for the cheese course, MOZZARELLA STICKS." I am laughing-out loud-right now thinking about this. Wouldn't you love to end a satisfying meal with a crispy, gooey stick of fried cheese?

Please, please, please read the wikipedia entry for mozzarella sticks. Here is a preview to whet your beak: "Mozzarella sticks, sometimes called mozza sticks, mozzies, cheese sticks, fried mozzarella, are rectangular or cylindrical pieces of battered or breaded mozzarella cheese."

this snack belongs to the ages

On the trail of history Quack Aunt and I powered up with some seriously salty snacks at the 7-11 in Waldorf, Maryland.


Not only was the "Three Cheese Big Bite" already filled with cheese due to the marvels of modern snack science, there was a plethora of FREE, extrudable toppings!!!! Quack Aunt a) did not appreciate my lengthy photo shoot of the FREE CHILI and b) also did not appreciate my lengthy discussion of the matter after the fact.


"So we will have a button that says 'Push for Free Chili.'" That is some serious snacking.

wedded to snacks

So Sarah got married!! And celebrated with many snacks. Which I appreciated.

Check out these apps!!!


From left to right, that is blue fish, pulled pork on a biscuit(!,) mini reubens (!!,) and crab ceviche. They were all delicious, plentiful and served shortly after the "I dos" outside by the water for some truly scenic snacking.

There was also a humongous vat of crab dip served out on this lovely pier. My photographer became so distracted by this dip he failed to photograph it, you know how unreliable freelancers are. But I can attest to its deliciousness.

After dinner (and again at breakfast!!) there was a mind boggling array of sweet snacks, in the form of a chocolate buffet crafted by the groom's mom and aunt. What serious snackers they must be!! Kudos!!!
All told, the SnackManiac ate 7 or 8 mini brownie bites with a Reese's cup in the middle. I will not tell you how many of them were consumed with my scrambled eggs.


There were also candies made in the wedding color, which was a spring green. Here is a transcript of my conversation with G when he returned to the table with one:

K: what is that?
G: Sarah and Jason of course.
K: oh, right, please take a picture of that.

It was a delight.

UPDATE:

Sarah just got back from her honeymoon in Greece where she spotted this international snack. Those Greeks have every right to lay claim to modern civilization, check that donut out!!

Spotted: business man on metro with single-serve pack of Pop-Tarts in the breast pocket of his suit coat. It was like a pocket square, only a snack.

How practical AND fashion forward!

cupcakes everywhere!

Check out this storefront on Dupont Circle. More CUPCAKES!!! The great thing about this new cupcake joint, "Hello Cupcake," is right across the street from Krispy Kreme, so you can hop over for some dessert after breakfast.

Snack sighting

Spotted: Warren Brown, Oprah's favorite entrepreneur and proprietor of DC's first cupcakery, at SweetGreen in Georgetown.

What brings him ALL the way from U Street??

Could it be Georgetown Cupcake, the talked about (and tasty) new SHOPPE right around the corner?? Was he checking out the competition??

SnackManiac is NOT above spreading snack-related rumors, so let the cupcake carnage begin!

an explosive new snack

SnackManiac talked an office full of fellow snackers into sampling a disgusting sounding new snack called "FIZZIX (TM) Carbonated Yogurt." Can you believe it??!?

Here is the snack:

Based on the packaging and description, this is fizzy yogurt that you are supposed to slurp out of a plastic tube at which point you will basically be electrocuted by the intensity of the bubbles. My snack-testers and I were expecting this experience to be similar to eating Pop Rocks. Or being struck by lightening.

Neither of these things happened.

It was pretty tasty though, and if you pressed your tongue against the roof of your mouth, you could sort of feel the carbonation. The flavors the SM focus group sampled were Wild Cherry Zing and Strawberry Lemonade Jolt. [Taste-testers, please share your snacking experience in the comments section!!!!]

By way of helpful snackground information, here is the person who "invented" this snack:

You might have wondered (out loud, probably,) who on EARTH would have invented such a wacky snack???

The answer???

MORMONS!!!!

The "technology" behind Fizzix was developed at Brigham Young University. By this goofy scientist(?) guy. The caption under this picture on the BYU PRESS RELEASE(!) was:

"Lynn Ogden, professor of food science, first tasted the sensation of carbonated yogurt after he threw a block of dry ice into a bucket of yogurt more than 20 years ago."

Yeah, I could see Lynn "throwing a block of dry ice into a bucket of yogurt." That sort of thing happens all of time in Utah.

west coast snacking don't stop

G was inconsiderate enough to send me this picture of a delicious chipwich he seems to have come across in CALIFORNIA. It appears to be an M&M (made by "global powerhouse" Mars Inc.) cookie and mint chip ice cream.

I WANT THIS SNACK!!!!

G also brags that it only cost $1.50. Well you know what, you can get FREE ice cream at Ben and Jerry's right now and SAVE $1.50 for something else. So there.

chew on this

Now this is what I'm talking about. Snack NEWS on the front page of the Wall Street Journal. (Nice work Rupert, your meddling in the news room has paid off!! Please buy up some more media outlets, like MY BLOG!!!!)

So the big news is that Mars, along with some $$$ from Warren Buffett, bought up Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co., the manufacturer of all sorts of gum (Juciy Fruit, Doublemint, Orbit,) Altoids, Lifesavers and some weird product I have never heard of called "Airwaves" which promises to "unleash powerful vapors that give you the kick to breathe easy again." I don't know what that means, but it sounds like an unpleasant snack.

The Journal isn't overstating things when it says the deal would "remake the global confectionery landscape." I don't have much to say about all of the "business" aspects of this deal (market share blah blah blah stock premiums,) but what I can say is that more CASH for SNACKS can only be a good thing.

And no, I am not worried about consolidation. The SNICKERS is one of the tastiest snacks, so I trust whatever Mars has in mind for all of that gum.

summer snack-age

Delicious afternoon snack time!!!

There is a new yogurt place near my place of business that is a perfect afternoon snack sneak-away. [Please see previous post re: Americans making "special trips" for snacks...] The yogurt is YOGURT-flavored, imagine that!! I don't know why there is not more delicious yogurt like this in snack shoppes EVERYWHERE.


What is even more exciting is the fact that there is a toppings bar, which is one of SNACKMANIAC's most favorite things. My yogurt is on the right, with blueberries, toasted almonds, and some delicious natural-like coconut. Gaelan went with raspberries, coconut and candied walnuts. NICE choice with the fancy nuts Gaelan!! (and thanks for allowing me to commandeer your snack for my photo shoot.)

polling all snackers

I am remiss for having not read this important news bulletin from PepsiCo. (Was this not in the Wall Street Journal? Wha?)

The snack behemoth conducted a SCIENTIFIC study that came to the stunning conclusion that "it's no surprise that the vast majority of U.S. adults (98 percent) can't resist the urge to nosh." I will also bet that 98% of telephone survey professionals vomited on themselves every time they had to say nosh, but I'm no Harris Interactive.

Another fascinating snacktoid, they determined that "people will go to great lengths, with 52 percent of U.S. adults reporting that they have made a special trip for a snack and 23 percent having gone so far as to have eaten a snack off the floor!" (!!!!)

To what end, you might ask, is this snack census??

To sell you cardboard poker chips, of course!

"To answer the tummy grumble when the craving hits, New Quaker Mini Delights, mini multigrain rice cakes drizzled in indulgent flavors [CHEMICALS.]"

NO THANK YOU! Please just continue to sell me snacks through the use of cartoons, check out line displays and bus stop advertising, no FACTS necessary.

EAT IN MODERATION

You might think that a candy bar that is supposed to taste like coconut rum is a bad idea.

You also might think that buying food in the checkout line at Bed, Bath and Beyond (you may know this store as "Rip Offs 'n Things,") is also a bad idea.

YOU WOULD BE RIGHT!!!

This candy bar is not tasty. It sort of tastes like a sunscreen crayon.

You should just get a Snickers. Or a Mounds. Or stick with the ice cube trays you went in there for in the first place.

do not be afraid of this snack's eyeball!!

Yes, this is a huge snack made out of a smaller snack. Nikki bought this POPCORN RABBIT for me on the internet. They shipped it to her and then she gave it to me. And it was staring THE WHOLE TIME!!!


While it was sad to decapitate the popcorn bunny, I did so in the name of journalism. All this popcorn is stuck together with something sticky and SWEET. It makes a huge mess when you eat it, but that is fine. Especially if you typically eat over the kitchen sink anyway.

The SnackManiac was unable to eat the eyeball though. I do have my limits.

G vs. FRITTER (I can't stop blogging about doughnuts!!)

G ate this humongous "apple fritter" for breakfast last weekend. I sort of thought "fritter" connoted something smallish, but look at that thing!!! It is the size of his face!!! The SnackManiac can't really point fingers in this snack situation as G came over with the fritter for himself and a half dozen doughnuts for me...(The identities of all SnackManiac guest snackers are protected to ensure their privacy. I put up a picture of Nikki in the early days and she can't even ride the metro anymore.)

Breakfast treat IN A BUCKET!!!

Here is a breakfast app that you just can't beat. (Yes, there ARE apps at breakfast. Things like this.) This is a bucket of donut holes at Colorado Kitchen in WASHINGTON DC (it is on the 52 and 54 bus line.) They fry them up to order, so they are guaranteed to be hot and greasy. You just need to be careful and be sure not to burn your face off. You will want to, but DON'T.

NC-snacking

Ok, so this snack pic is a little risque, but Peeps and general lasciviousness are both so timely, I just couldn't resist.

Eggs-actly the sort of snack I like

You will not even believe this amazing snack that was delivered by the Easter bunny to the volunteer EMS service in Brunswick, MD. You might think that this CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER EGG is a tad large, but you would be wrong.

G and I bought this HOMEMADE treat in the ambulance bay. It was in a Ziploc bag. All of this seemed fine. G was impressed with the advertised 8 ounce size and this potato-sized piece of CANDY did not disappoint.

The inside seems to be made of peanut butter, lots of other butter and sugar.

Dear Easter BUNNY, I only bought one of your super eggs from the nice ladies at the fire house. Please bring some more by my place on Sunday. Thank you.

Signs of the SNACKS

Oh my.

First kids can't drink 20 oz Mr. Pibbs at school anymore and now MUPPETS can't two fist cookies down their gullets!!!!

Of course he looks crazed, grapes? Are you people serious?

Will the assault on the freedoms of snacking stop nowhere???

snack savings: 2 for $4 at safeway right now!!

I had been hearing a lot about this new Jell-o "Dulce de Leche " pudding snack, so the STAKES were HIGH!!! But just take a look at this thing:


obviously delicious! It sort of tastes like real dulce de leche and is VERY sweet.

The sad news is that this snack seems to have 0 fat and 0 sugar and 4 calories, so it is just a little tub of chemicals endorsed by Bill Cosby. But I will ignore that and endorse this snack in '08.

(And no, all you conspiracy theorists, I didn't strike a deal with Kozy Shack pudding to box out the Swiss Miss...)

yes we can SNACK

Will.I.Snack?

Yes indeed.

Kate made these enthusiastic and delicious cupcakes for a Super Tuesday extravaganza that, according to reports, also included liquid cheese dip (USA! USA! USA!)

The brilliant side benefit of these politi-cakes was that they turn your entire face and hands blue, leaving no one guessing about your political convictions. I have been walking around the office for the last hour with blue teeth, just to let my colleagues know that the SnackManiac votes Democratic.

Talk about snackroots efforts. Nice work Kate.

Snacks that burn rubber

This snack was brought to the SM's attention through the results of a snack-thropological report conducted in the SOUTH!!!

Dale Jr., who apparently no longer needs a last name when pushing race track treats, brings you the "Big Mo'" in creamy caramel or peanut butter.

Attention NASCAR fans indeed!

I have no idea what a Mo' of any size is. This snack confuses me!!?!

Have any snackers out there sampled the MO yet??

cake or cannibalism: YOU DECIDE

So I obviously endorse snack appreciation, snack fan-dom, even...SNACK MANIA.

But I DO draw the line at making a snack in your own image!!!! I think the Bible does too.


No, your eyes do not deceive you, this insane-o had a wedding cake made to look like her. Well, it was supposed to, I think. There are more creepy pictures here, including one of her groom trying not to yak on himself while he cuts into "her" midsection.

To clarify my nuanced position: IT IS A-OKAY TO MAKE A SNACK THAT LOOKS LIKE A SNOWMAN OR A TURKEY, BUT NOT YOURSELF (OR ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS, UNLESS THEY ARE CELEBRITIES AND THEN THEY FALL INTO THE SAME CATEGORY AS TURKEYS AND SNOWMEN.)