high on the hog

This just in from my correspondents in the field: Bacon that can rot your teeth AND burn your house down!!!

First up, Maple-Bacon Lollipops. You certainly can't go wrong with the sweet and savory maple syrup and bacon combo NOR with snacks on a stick, so this one must be a winner. Lollyphile, the producer of this great breakfast substitute, also makes lollipops that are Absinthe and Ginger & Wasabi flavor, in case you need a chaser after the meat-pop.

Next is a very practical alarm clock/bacon cooker that is ALSO A REALLY CUTE PIG FACE!

The alarm triggers a halogen lightbulb that cooks a piece of frozen bacon, that has been presumably melting and perhaps rotting next to your head all night. But no matter, what snacker would not love to wake up to some CURED MEATS instead of NPR???

Keep the tips comin' Day of the Fight, Esquire!!!

seaside snacks

Check out this highly realistic BEACH CUPCAKE made by my snacky godmother:


You thought that was the real beach, didn't you??? It is actually blue buttercream icing, brown sugar and a peppermint beach ball, all on a double chocolate cupcake.

who wouldn't want more than one gelato?

So I don't understand why this product is called a GELATI. It doesn't involve gelato, let alone MANY gelatos. Despite the snack-mantic issues I have with this treat, I CAN'T GET ENOUGH!!!!

The Wikipedia tells me that "Gelati is a layered parfait of water ice and frozen custard, popular in the Philadelphia metropolitan region." That sounds fake, but who is the SnackManiac to question Wikipedia???

Lucky for me, there is a semi newly installed Rita's about 250 yards from my place of residence.

I had a gelati last night with vanilla custard (what is custard?) which is extruded like soft serve and black cherry water ice (what is water ice?) The ratio of custard to water ice is perfect. This is such a great SUMMER SNACK!!!!

A cursory google image search for "GELATI" corroborates that in-store advertisement that mango is the best selling flavor. In the name of research, I will go back tonight and check it out, stay tuned for updates.

first mention of pigs in a blanket in the New Yorker?

So the New Yorker has turned its snooty nose in the direction of SNACKING and offers this searing insight into psycho-snack-nalysis:

"Generally speaking, a snack is a combination of crunchy with chewy, and it is named something appealing to the palette."

While I stand by letting people give their snacks names, I have to admit that the list of proposed summer snacks, including 'Breaded Chicken Skewers with Thai Dipping Sauce—“Pigeons Crapping on a Park Bench”' is pretty funny. Check it out here.

n.b. This picture is technically of a snack referred to in the biz as "Fire Ants on a Log" due to the use of Craisins, as opposed to raisins, which is helpful if you are trying to only eat foods that have brand names. This is also a great way to eat lots of Craisins, if, for example, someone you went to college with dares you to eat Craisins in every meal for a week.

Cruelty to Peeps - A PSA from the SnackManiac to you

Easter is a celebration of snacks. Well that, and Jesus not really being dead. This holiday is full of important traditions: HATS, LILLIES and CANDY.

I went to the temple of Easter candy tonight, the Rite Aid, and I was SHOCKED to discover this:

When did this happen? Peeps are supposed to be YELLOW. Like little CHICKENS are. They had all sorts of colors, purple, orange and these monstrosities. Is nothing sacred anymore???

People are expressing their outrage over this injustice in all the wrong ways, namely at the Peeps themselves.

EXHIBIT A

100waystokillapeep.blogspot.com

This site may not be for all audiences due to the graphic demises that have befallen these poor Peeps. But if you are up for it, I recommend checking out Electric Chair, Flame Thrower and Phone.

EXHIBIT B

This is the 101st way to kill a Peep. Drowning in chocolate!!!


The cruelty! These poor Peeps can't see! They are just like Tutankhamun, but in chocolate and not in Egpyt.

The SnackManiac calls upon you to stop this cruelty. Much like Sarah McLachlan and the animals, the SnackManiac is using my notoriety to protect those who can't protect themselves. The marshmallow birds. And bunnies.

some BUNNY needs to answer for this

Come on America. We invented Jesus and diabetes and we couldn't come up with this????

Those Brits are threatening our sovereignty yet again with the CADBURY CREME EGG MCFLURRY!!!!!

McDonalds, shame on you. This is a no brainer. I am going to go back to that God-fearing DQ in Virginia with my own sleeve of Cadbury eggs and see if they will help me celebrate Easter by mixing me a Cadbury Blizzard.

Le Snack Sportif

Ok, ok, I know it is complete March Madness that I am only now putting these Superbowl sweets up on the 'net, but I couldn't punish you, dear reader, for my lazines by depriving you of these beauties.

First out of the gates, we have this work of art from the good people at Giant:

No, that is not in fact MUSTARD that they used to ice this sheetcake. And no, I have NO IDEA what "Believe In Now" means, but hey, can you really disagree with the sentiment? Or celebrating sporting events you don't care about with a cake that is a processed sugar bomb?

Next up we have some thematic cupcakes that I made for a serious Super Bowl party G and I went to. (Those Steelers fans are big time SNACKMANIACS, cheeseburger dip that has its own mini crockpot!!!) Anyhow, these are cheddar beer cupcakes with bacon cheddar icing. Despite all those ingredients, they are not savory (this may be a direct result of the five cups of sugar in the recipe.) But man, that icing is bacon-y, which I LOVE. Oh, and that decorative football is a chocolate covered almond.


BELIEVE IN NOW, because after eating a few of these you might be heading straight for the ER.